1. Make sure you've read the job description and that you've specified which job you are applying to.
Sometimes I'll get a random resume from a veterinarian and I'll have no idea if they want to apply for the medical assistant position, or for the custodial position (neither of which is relevant to the resume that they have sent in.)
2. Cover letters are GREAT!
Shockingly, only about 25% of the resumes I receive come with a cover letter. ....guess who gets to go see me for an interview? Oooh, and don't forget to spell check it. If you can't spell "September," than can you spell "polyacrylamide gel electrophoresis" correctly? On that note, if the letter is addressed to me, the name is Yen; not Jen, Wen, Ven or Sally.
3. Please follow the directions when you apply.
My ads say "no phonecalls." Therefore, I automatically bypass resumes from people who call. It may sound cruel, but if you think about it, if someone can't follow simple directions on the application, how can they follow directions on the job?
4. Give a firm handshake.
Have a friend give you a weak, wussy handshake, and you'll see what I mean. When I shake a floppy fish hand, they might as well give me a cold, soggy, used kleenex to go with it. Bleh.
On the same token, don't try to break my hand either. I can't concentrate well on your interview with broken bones. Excuse me, what was your name again? Ow.
5. Don't sound desperate.
If someone tells me "I really need this job" or "I really need the money," it terrifies the bejeebies out of me. It means that they don't care if they are qualified and would drop me if Krispy Kreme offered a more competitive salary.
(No offense, Brian. I LOVE Krispy Kreme!).
6. At the interview, don't faint, apologize profusely for being hung over, cry, forget the papers you were supposed to bring, or talk about your anger management issues.
To me, an interview is a conversation. As far as I know, there's nothing really intimidating about a 5 foot petite asian woman with a lab coat and pocket protector; but for some, it's enough to put them over the edge! Egads, wait until you meet MY boss! Or heaven forbid... a classroom full of students! Oh wait...your the same dude that tried to break my hand.
Also, please shower, wear deodorant, and tone it down on the Chanel 5. Although it isn't the deciding factor on whether or not you get the job, for heaven's sake, I have to be in the elevator with you!
7. DON'T hit on the interviewer.
Bad. Just...very, very bad. Like, I could write entire blog on the many ways that this is so wrong.
Lastly, be yourself... PLEASE. I mean, you have to work with this person. An interview isn't just about getting the job. It's also about determining, in that small amount of time, who your future coworkers may be that you will see each and every day! If you can't stand me for five minutes, imagine seeing me for roughly 241 days out of the year!
Picture from I Has a Hotdog
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2 comments:
No questions, Yen! But once again, it's all about common sense (or lack of it!) in people...I can hardly believe you have to list half of those rules, since they should fall under the 'Duh, how elementary!' category. For one thing, I won't bring a resume featuring criminal justice and law enforcement education to someone looking to fill a beekeeper's job. As for Rule #7...not only do too many people lack common sense, too many are just plain strange.
Maybe that's just it? These things are so elementary that people have forgotten? I wouldn't say most do, but it's the teensy percentage that kind of make you go, "Wha?!"
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