From the ancient Asian* fusion of Chinese foot binding and Japanese Bonsai comes the Bonsai Kitten!.**
(Note: No kittens were harmed in the writing of this description)
The concept:
1. Inject kitten with muscle relaxants then shove into a glass container using a shoe horn. Container has been pre-drilled with air holes, feeding hole and "excretion" hole.
2. Place feeding tube in kitten's mouth and feed with a nutrient slurry containing decalcification agents to allow its bones to re-ossify into the shape of the container.
3. Seal kitten anus with superglue and insert a waste tube into the waste hole. The kitten will then develop a "natural rectal diverticulum" around the tube as it grows. Attach other end of tube to a colostomy bag.
4. Once kitten has grown to maturity, break container. Voila! Vase-shaped kitten!
You can also have a cylinder, rectangle, conic cylinder, or even...dog shaped kitties!
Personally? I opt for a square-shaped chinchilla. They're much softer, and their teeny little paws are just sooo cyuuute!
*I shudder when someone uses the term "Oriental" unless it refers to a rug - another blog at another time
**Please tell me you're not buying this. Please? Otherwise can I refer you to the aluminum foil deflector beenie blog, too?
Posts
2 comments:
Um... Squick?
Don't worry, I didn't buy...in fact, this is hilarious, Yen! :D
(If I had, I would have asked if this was something you came up with in one of your labs! ;) )
By the way: I have no love for certain ethnic words and phrases, too, most of which are associated with 'multiculturalism' which is directly related to something I hate: politics. I may beat you to a blog on the subject sometime, dear friend!
Post a Comment