Thursday, February 5, 2009

Characteristics

Subject: Y. Verhoeven
Aliases: Yenny, Yentil, Mouse, Blue, Lady Blue, Blue Kunoichi

Strengths:
1. Able to detect natural gas leaks with just her nose
2. Able to pull something out of her frontal lobe and place it on paper, thus faking her way through 90% of the stressful situations that she is put through on a daily basis.
3. Able to find just about anything on her computer using creative search words
4. Able to cause confusion in any situation within 5 seconds of speaking
5. Makes the best ham on the planet. Hands down.

Weaknesses
1. Shiny things that go *beep beep*
2. Cute puppies
3. Cute baby reptiles (except snakes)
4. Clothes
5. Texting. Does not have the ability nor desire to text message.

Likes
1. Her family
2. Really expensive biotech equipment
3. Good food
4. All things coffee. Strong, dissolve-the-cup type of coffee
5. A warm, comfy soft bed ^.^
6. Lightening fast internet and a laptop that can keep up
7. Open minds and great friends
8. More time

Dislikes
1. Wet bathroom door knobs
2. Cold
3. Escargot
4. People who shirk their own responsibilities
5. Traffic

Strange Habits
1. Eats the chocolate outside a Twix chocolate bar before consuming the caramel then finally the cookie
2. Practices extending her chi when in a crowd to keep people from invading her personal space
3. Jumps up and down on the elevator and does squats, kicks and punches when no one is around.
4. Writes about her blue haired, violet-eyed ninja alter ego on a regular basis
5. Sings at the top of her lungs when driving in the car
6. Must ALWAYS arrange the toilet paper roll so that the flappy part is on the top
7. Must have one cup of coffee every morning, or else she will destroy the universe

1 comment:

CharlesWS said...

Somewhere, dear friend, someone will be jotting this down in the most byzantine depths of the Department of Homeland Security, and they'll present it to one of their 'think tanks' or whatever they use to make their decisions for them, and the collective judgment will proclaim: "EXCELLENT!" :)

However. You and I just have to have a LONG talk about those Twix...just kidding! Seriously, I'm the old fashioned type. I don't break the bar into components, I bite the total package! :D