The Ninja v Pirate

And now for a brief discussion on a subject near and dear to my heart: NINJAS!

For those of you that don't know me yet, my alter ego is one spunky, sassy little ninja named Lady Blue. For those of you that DO know me, just...roll your eyes and humor me, okay? For once I think I can go into a brief history on the pirate ninja saga without bursting a blood vessel.

When I can find the site again, I will link it to this blog. But since I can't find it this early in the morning, I shall give you a brief synopsis.

Essentially, when a ninja encounters a pirate, the ninja kills the pirate. Enough said. That's it. End of story.

Why is this, you may ask? Well, for some reason, engrained in the very essence of a Ninja, deep down in their DNA....although some ninja don't have DNA... is the "I hate pirate" gene. -If you can call it a gene. Some ninja are not biologically based, you see. But hating pirates is a part of a ninja's makeup. Being a ninja means that you MUST hate pirates. Down to your very core and being.

Dear Reader: "But aren't you being a little harsh, Yen?"

My answer? "ABSOLUTELY NOT." There's just no compromise here. If you are a ninja, you hate pirate. If you don't hate pirates, than you've now lowered yourself to the realm of being ninja-like, as classified by our designated ninja spokesperson, Ask a Ninja.

Moving on, I'm sure many of you wonder why there is such an extreme case for the dislike of all piratedom and all things pirate. Well, it started (as all things do) with a love story:

Once upon a time, when fictional characters such as ninjas and pirates came into existence, a foolish, foolish ninja fell in love with a pirate wench. Pirate wench mommy and daddy did not approve of the affair and was not able to give the girl their blessing anyways because her ninja boyfriend lopped off their heads.

I'm sorry to say that this little mishap kind of ticked off the pirate wench, and she became annoyed, to which case, ninja boyfriend ended the arguement. Permanently.

You would think that after silencing the parents and the source of conflict, things would be resolved, right? Wrong. Being the very slow, unintelligent beings that they were, pirates did not catch on and decided that they would (HAH) avenge their family members and fellow pirate buddies.

The result? Complete and total annihilation of all things pirate. ALL things pirate. Why? Because ninja are just so damn good at what they do.

"But then why is there still a Ninja Pirate conflict?"

There isn't. Pirates have been extinct for centuries now. Everything pirate that you see is simply pirate-like. However, true, honest to goodness shiver-me-timbers pirates have have been completely eliminated thanks to the awesome efficiency of my ninja kindred. Allowing the concept of the pirate to still exist is a deliberate ploy by the Ninja Counsel to give us an excuse to flip out on occasion and kill people just for fun.